On the verge of giving up.

I swear I'm trying. I just don't want to try too hard because I don't want to seem desperate.

Believe me. I AM trying.

I just need time to open up.

Hesitation.

I have a couple of drafts waiting to be published. I doubt I'll ever publish them because I don't have the guts to.

You never know who's reading.

No one knows what it's like,
To feel these feelings like I do and I blame you!
No one bites back as hard on their anger.
None of my pain and woe can show through.

Didn't I give it all?
Tried my best.

Two choices.

I can sit in a corner, feel sorry for myself and wallow in self-pity.

Or I can accept the change (even though I hate it) and move forward.

It's not easy staying optimistic, but I'll try. It's definitely going to be a struggle, but I'll make sure it's worthwhile.

For you.

The post titled "Error" is for you, Florence (if you still read my blog). If I could go through Secondary School all over again, I swear I'll do things differently.

I never thought I'd ever have the guts to do this.

Thanks for everything! I can't wait to meet you!

Bond.

I've been spending a lot of time with my mum and sister recently. It's weird because we don't go shopping with each other very often. I have to admit, I love going out with them. Yesterday, we went to Chinatown to buy some decorations to spruce up the house for Chinese New Year. It was really pleasant and I had a good time talking and laughing with them. These trips might seem insignificant to others, but it's a huge deal to me.

Some things have happened recently and I've been feeling rather down. I don't know why, but, I don't feel so affected when I'm with my family. Their presence gives me comfort, I guess.

I'm grateful that I have my mum and sister to rely on because I feel like I can't depend on anyone else. Not anymore.

I know you think that you've been down,
You never know when things will turn around, turn around.

In December,
Together we'll climb,
And I'll carry you home.

Silence.

I've never felt so alone. I'm an emotional wreck and recently, I've been over-analyzing things. What has gotten into me?



Nobody said it was easy.
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

Error.

How is it possible for someone to not have regrets? Let's say you have the ability to turn back time and you did something wrong, something that cost you to lose something or someone near and dear to you - would you go back to the past and change everything?

I know I would. In fact, I don't know anyone who wouldn't.

So, no - I don't believe any quote that suggests that there are no regrets in life.

If I could rewind the clock, I wouldn't treat my closest friend badly, I wouldn't talk behind my friend's back. In fact, I would just shut up and bottle everything up - all the anger, disappointment and sadness. If keeping everything to myself helps maintain our friendship, I would do just that.

But it's all too late now, isn't it?

I can't help but think about how blissful and happy my life - our lives - would be if I didn't do any of the stupid things aforementioned.




You're aching, you're breaking,
And I can see the pain in your eyes.
Says everybody's changing,
And I don't know why.